Saltar al contenido

9 Reasons Your Chihuahua Is So Over You

septiembre 2, 2020

Hey humans, it might seem like we all have a deep connection, but if you dig through a few furry wrinkles, you’ll find out that we’ve got some real issues with you.

 

Here are 9 reasons we are NOT your best friends:

 

Snort breath snort,
-Chihuahua

1. You always get our worst angle.
“Don’t you know by now that I photograph best from the left?! We’ve been together for 3 YEARS! It’s like you’re TRYING to make me look bad.”

 

2. You make us go shopping. “Why are you always taking me to Home Depot even though you KNOW I don’t like to ‘do it myself’? Also, if you say ‘I’m not making you go shopping you GET to go shopping’ one more time, I’m gonna sh*t in your bed.”

3. You taunt us with treats. “It LOOKS close enough that I might be able to reach it, but then it moves when I try to get it. Maybe if I just stare at it long enough it will just fall into my mouth. Stare. Staaaaare. STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE.”

4. You make us wake up before we’re ready. Which is to say, you make us wake up. “Have you ever heard of beauty sleep? Well I need all of it.”

5. You humiliate us with polyester.

 

6. You say our farts stink. thug pug “If you just cooked me that grass-fed, organic beef every night like I told you to, my farts would smell like candy. But since you fill me with this garbage kibble, this aroma bouquet is on you.”

7. You always want us to walk faster Chihuahua tongue “I go the speed I go! Don’t rush me! Good things take time and I am the best thing.”

8. You make us go to bed. “Shhhhhh this tastes awful but I’m already too far in to stop now! Why did I agree to this? Thwarted by my love of treats!”

9. Do I even have to explain? Chihuahuas bunny